What is Tecmo?
Player Bios
Portraits of the Enemy
Glossary of Tecmo Terms
Dysfunctional Thinking
Game Summaries
Legendary Tales
The Jack Files
Tecmo Odds & Ends
The Ultimate Pro Bowl

Glossary of Tecmo Terms

Tecmo is not only a game, it's a way of life. And any way of life has it's own terminology that goes along with it. Listed below are several of the terms commonly heard during league play.

'A' Button
Often times when a ball carrier and a defensemen make initial contact, they begin to wrestle. A Player's "A" Button determines whether the tackle is broken or if the ball carrier is tackled. For instance, when carrying the ball, if you start wrestling with a defenseman, you hit the "A" button as fast as you can to break free and vice versa. If you are good at that (which isn't as easy as one might think) then you are said to have a good "A" button.

Addiction
The unrelenting need for Tecmo as if it were a drug. One is addicted when they bypass all other activities to get a fix. Poor grades and forgetfulness are often attributed to the addiction.

Greg Lloyd Award
Every once in a while, a player will rise to the occasion of a crucial head to head battle. This term originated during an AFC Central match-up between the Bengals and the Steelers. Kevin was the Bengals and Bruce was the Steelers. Greg Lloyd intercepted David Klingler 3 times in the same game. This caused Bruce to muster an exciting 31-19 upset against Kevin’s Bengals. What made this feat seemingly impossible was the fact that Greg Lloyd is not even a defensive back. From then on, the Greg Lloyd Award was given to any player who had three interceptions in the same game. Very few players have received this award but some include: Vencie Glenn, Donnell Woolford, and Maurice Hurst.

Eric Allen Award
Very similar to the Greg Lloyd Award, but this award is named after the first player in the VTTFL to garnish 4 picks in one game.

Weak Link Theory
Also known as "A Chain is only as strong as it's weakest link." This theory states that a quarterback and his receiver is only as good as the worst of the two. An excellent quarterback cannot complete passes to a crappy receiver and likewise, an excellent receiver cannot catch passes from a crappy quarterback. Skill is needed on both ends of the chain to be efficient and successful in the passing game. No amount of pass control and pass accuracy can make up for a lack of receptions. No amount of receptions can make up for lack of pass accuracy and pass control.

Controllers Fault
Many times a bad or mistaken play is referred to as the controllers fault. This is because the controller seemingly does not always respond in time to your commands. Bruce often blames sacks on the controller because he told it what to do, but it (the controller) chose not to listen.

Drones
Your entire defense excluding the defender you're controlling. Drones will act as mere spectators while you are feverishly trying tackle your opponent with the defender you're controlling.

Enemy
Women in general, as history has never recorded a woman tolerating Tecmo, but more specifically Bruce’s ex-girlfriend Jenn, Kevin’s ex-girlfriend Jackie, and Dan’s ex-girlfriend Dianna. Jenn and Jackie have united their efforts in preventing tecmoing. Their efforts took the form of the absence of attention for days or even weeks at a time and/or general unkindness towards us. Members of the VTTFL try to keep talks about Tecmo to a minimum when in the presence of the enemy. See Portraits of the Enemy.

Feel
Once in a game Kevin asked Bruce the following question, "Hey Bruce, I've never controlled Emmitt, what does he feel like??" This question prompted laughter and from then on running backs have been rated based on how they feel to the controller. Some running backs that just feel too damn good: Natrone Means, Emmitt Smith, Barry Sanders, Jerome Bettis, Marshall Faulk

Floor Rule
This is a rule Kevin devised dictating that whenever Tecmoing is to take place, both players MUST sit at the same level (usually the floor, although sometimes the couch) to play. Kevin refuses to start the game until both players are abiding by The Floor Rule. At first we humored him but the floor rule has somehow evolved into a law, a mutual understanding between all players that it was a fundamental condition that needed to be addressed before all games. This rule is also in place to combat symptoms of paranoia resulting from the possibility of a handle looker in the midst.

Full Juice Bar
During a kickoff, when the kickers "power bar" at the bottom of the screen reaches it's full potential he is said to have the "full juice bar."

Game
Tecmo, of course

Good Side
In Tecmo I the teams do not switch sides of the field at the end of quarters. Instead they stay on their given side the entire game. The left side is said to be the "good side" because in games vs. the computer, the man controlled team always gets the left side. By the mere fact of repetitive learning, the left side is more natural and often times easier to play in head-to-head competition. Having the good side is advantageous also because it is easier to lurch from the left side.

Handle Looker
One who watches the other player select a play in order to call the appropriate defense.

Invincible
Often times when linemen recover fumbles and begin to run the ball back for a touchdown, they cannot be tackled. Anybody who attempts to tackle the charging lineman will be thrown far from the ball by mere contact. Some famed invincibles are Dan Saleamua, Chris Hinton, and Mike Golic

In The Mood
Selecting a quarterback on a poor team is not often a clear and simple process. Often one must compare physical conditioning of each player before the quarter. The quarterback that is "in the mood" is the one with the better condition / stats.

Lurch
A tecmo phenomenon that is only apparent in the Tecmo I. On certain passing plays, the nose tackle can take one step and dive at the defenseless quarterback through the offensive line. This always results in a sack and often times induces a fumble. When this occurs, the nose tackle is said to have lurched. Note: Bruce used this move on every applicable play for an entire season with the Browns and amassed 121 sacks by Michael Dean Perry. This move is not illegal, but is severely frowned upon.

Midnight Quickie
Here in the VTTFL, we sometimes have to wait until late in the evening to play our man vs man games. We wait because we know that all of the enemies go to bed between 11pm and midnight. We stay up late and then meet at John's apartment because he doesn't have any roommates or enemies to contend with. Then we play Tecmo until the wee hours of the night. Sometimes John has a busy schedule so he'll say: "I'm unavailable for Tecmo today but if somebody wants to come by and play a Midnight Quickie, I'll be available for an hour or two after midnight..."

Mighty Mighty Redskins
Dan's beloved Washington Redskins.

Possum Button
The Y button. As the ball carrier, pressing this button causes you to dive forward and land in the fetal position. You aren't down until someone touches you, though. It's like saying "Hey guys, I'm down...but then getting up and running away after the tackling drones run by.

Possessed
Certain players that tend to acquire superhuman skills in the last 2 to 3 weeks of the season due to their excellent condition are referred to as 'possessed. Players that are possessed have the ability to send another player flying to the ground by mere contact, dive great lengths and run extremely fast. Usually these players are linemen and they are only possessed when they are computer controlled. These players tend almost always to play for teams that are on the border line between making or not making the playoffs. Some examples include Chris Doleman, Derrick Thomas, Clyde Simmons, Pat Swilling and Bruce Smith.

Quikmo
Quick Tecmo. Sometimes you just wanna get a game or a season in as fast as possible. Setting injuries to off and changing the quarters to 3 minute quarters are how we do it. Just get the game finished. That's the key.

Scribe
Usually an observer, this person is the designated note-taker during a league game. These notes are then transcribed into game summaries.

Scrub Sack
Occurs when one is playing great coverage D and one of your drones finds his way into a sack (ie: Carl Zander of the Bengals in TSB for the NES).

Sharpe'n It
When a team has one of those receivers that catches every pass no matter how many DB's are covering him, like Sterling Sharpe, and the player does nothing but throw to him on every play, that player is Sharpe'n the ball. The phrase was coined during a preseason game between Ethan and John when John's offense penetrated Ethan's defense by Sharpe'n it to the end zone.

Slip Slide
Often when a receiver's agility is very high (88 or 94). When diving for a pass, he will dive forward and then immediately be on his feet sliding through defenders like they aren't there. This move usually gains an extra 6 or 7 yards per occurrence. Although uncontrollable and rare, it is really really neat when it happens.

Tecmo Level
Just the right level of volume to play Tecmo...not too high, not too low.

Tecmo Stadium
Wherever the games happen to be played at. Although usually this refers to Kevin’s house (he has the largest TV), it can also refer to anyone’s house with a SNES and a copy of the game.

Tecmo Thumb
Tecmo thumb is the condition that occurs when one has been "Tecmoing" for several hours. Tecmo thumb occurs in the left thumb as a result of vigorously gripping the controller pad. It is characterized by redness in the thumb, discomfort, sweat, and unusually large amounts of skin peeling from the thumb during or after play. Occasionally, chewing is resorted to in order to remove said skin from the thumb to create a smoother surface with which to play. Tecmo thumb, although a small factor, can inhibit one from optimally controlling his team.

Tecmopportunity
An opportunity to play Tecmo. An avid player never passes up a Tecmopportunity.